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so tired... and yet so full of life

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 that news of that Duluth women missing is retarded and i had funn at Kaos with Vicky, Lauren, and Natalia

still i hate myself

Dear Diary,
            *taking a moment to breath* I hate my life I luv it yet I don't like it like I see my friends who are smiling and yet I those who don¡¯t smile and lose their beauty from not smiling and I see them hurt and yet I can't. do anything about it for my friend lily said ppl need to recover themselves slowly but yet if too sad help them. I try and yet I feel like I¡¯m losing them and it¡¯s just sad and they push meh away. I wish we didn¡¯t have pain in this world and yet it¡¯s sad and when I still look at my self I still she an ugly fat girl who¡¯s staring back and I want this haunting memories gone and Chris told meh to think the good and not the bad haha just like Jason and I miss Jason to much when I  didn¡¯t have somebody to call and talk too he was ALWAYZ there I wish he was here right now to hug meh and say  it¡¯s gonna be ok.  

                                                                                    Sad but happy, Joyce

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